Conflict? Teach Your Client This Negotiation Skill

 

When in Conflict Looking for Agreement Can Be Counter-Intuitive

When there has been a fair amount of conflict it is not surprising that clients become positional.  Most clients going through a divorce either haven’t the skills necessary to negotiate or are too emotionally charged to negotiate.

Providing clients with this simple model to move the conversation along will benefit both parties.

Teach your clients the following:

  • If you can agree with what is being said, simply say..” I agree.”
  • If you agree with part of what is being said, begin with the part you can agree with ..” I agree that it’s important for you to spend as much time as you can with the children.  I want that for them and for you, too.   I do have trouble with the week-end parenting schedule that you are suggesting.”
  • If you cannot agree with any part of what is being suggested then empathize with the other’s feelings..”  I know how hard it is for you to not see the kids every day.”

Teaching clients to look for the places that they can agree changes the tenor of the dialogue. This is a problem-solving approach rather than a problem-making approach.

 

 

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2 Comments

  1. Posted July 14, 2014 at 7:50 am | Permalink

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  2. Posted July 16, 2014 at 11:10 am | Permalink

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